In the beginning

8.36pm on a late autumnal evening and ive finally got round to writing this,  8.36pm and the words are starting to flow.  
I know what i want to write, i know how i want to write it,  i know all the little things i want to say and share about my amazing son Logan but i suddenly realise at 8.36pm that i have no idea where to start.

Maybe i should start with Logans diagnosis and all the barriers we faced in obtaining it, maybe i should start with when i started noticing different behaviour patterns or logans outbursts, maybe with sullen looks i used to get as i struggled to cope with logans behaviour in public.

I guess we should start at the very beginning,  a time now very alien to me where we had only the one child who was growing and developing into the lovely, clever 10 year old he now is.
Life was good, that is to say we had very little worries, we paid the mortgage, we went out for sunday meals and played in parks with our child tyler.

It was then Logan was born, our family was growing and it was time to think about that 'family wagon'  and for a short time things continued as normal.
After a quick 18 months we were expecting to see logan begin to do all the things that tyler had done as he grew but we noticed there was a lack of development.
It started with logan not forming any words or attempting to speak and soon followed with strange repetitive behaviours forming.
This was the beginning of the worst time in my life and i became wrapped up in the problems logan was having, to the point i was feeling ill.

This was the beginning, i know it now.  The beginning of Logan's autism, the beginning of our journey together, the beginning of a struggle that has embroiled me for 5 years and has seen me run two london marathons.  It is a beginning that has changed me to the extent that i no longer remember my previous self, having put all of my goals, ambitions and desires aside and dedicated myself solely to Logan and ensuring he wants for nothing and gets everything he needs.

That was the beginning and it hurt, like a blacksmith hammering away at my soul, forging me into something completely different.